'What could be worse than being born without sight? Being born with sight but no vision." --Helen Keller

This the final in the series about re-thinking giving.  Part 1 was about the need to have better ways for both for-profit/donors and non-profits to help each other.  Part 2 was about  who is it that we're giving to, anyway?  This post is about some creative ways to think about gifting in a more conscious manner.

All of life is about an exchange of some form of energy, or thermodynamics.  Our western mind has the default mode of trying to take everything it can get and exchange as little as possible in the process.  Many of us have to re-learn over many tough life lessons that our individual happiness depends on the process of joyful, respectful, equal-if-different exchange, something that most children seem to instinctively know.  Some forms of gratitude for exchange of life-giving support and sustenance have even become perfunctory--such as grace before meals.  We humans seem prone to deny, and thus disrespect, our profound dependence on everything and everyone around us. 

I can remember as a child singing songs to the rocks and the trees and the creek and the salamanders, songs of joy and thankfulness, in children's words of appreciation and joy.  Somehow I came to believe that these 'beings' couldn't understand or appreciate human communication and that it was considered more than a little odd to talk with them...so I stopped. That's what I get for 'believing' the conventional wisdom.  But I've picked up the habit again, and love to sing my prayers of gratitude each day.  The prayers may not make much sense, and they are surely easier to sing to a tree than to a driver that cuts me off or doesn't let me out of my driveway..but such is the practice of learning to be grateful for all things, all interactions, all levels of connection.

 
flickr: diana bella's photostream

So with the wisdom of inter-dependence, connection and exchange of energy for energy in the forefront of our minds, here are a few ideas for making the holidays and our lives all year long more congruent with living gratefully and reflectively. The gist of this info is:

• Don't buy what you can make. 'Made' means so much more because of that intangible love that's put into the gift.
• If your family or business chooses to give gifts to others instead of internally, consider the power that your combined giving gives to a small non-profit or an international one.  ( An example: the non-profit I serve often receives the gifts of new toys and/or cash from children who make their birthday parties a way to donate to children less fortunate than themselves.  During the holidays, we also receive gifts from corporations whose employees have chosen to give to a cause rather than put on an expensive holiday bash.  These gifts mean so much to us and in ways that they will never know, to the children we serve.)
• If you 'have to' buy, there are several websites that give money to specific causes if you buy products through them.

I have not done exhaustive research on this topic.  The following are are just a few resources that have come across my path.  The patrons of the Virtual Tea House would be delighted to hear of other ideas, stories, sites--so please feel free to post them as comments.  Thanks!

MAKING IT...

Do it yourself Christmas: 34 Great Gifts You Can Make Yourself (from the extremely helpful site Get Rich Slowly: personal finance that makes cents).

A Time for Gratitude (from another practical site Zen Habits)

BUYING IT, IF YOU HAVE TO...

The Hunger Site  (also includes ways to pragmatically help the causes that support  literacy, child health, rain forest, animal rescue, breast cancer research/support)

Living Generously  'challenging, inspiring and empowering people to live generously'  Helpful site...a little overwhelming, though!

Donors Choose  Teachers ask. Donors choose. Students learn.  A site  that allows donors to give to specific needs of schools from across the continent. 

Good Search/Good Shop   You can set this site up as your search engine, make sure your favorite non-profit is listed (it's easy to do) and then each time you do an internet search or shop, the non-profit gets a penny per search or % of the sales for the shop! 

Redefining Christmas

INVESTING IT...

KIVA  micro finance loans--'that change lives' ---GREAT way to invest the money your family might spend on what-not.  There are great stories of connection that come from KIVA entrepreneurs--lenders and lendees!  We need something like this for our own country at this point...

And last but not least...why we buy...and how to help break that nasty little addiction that most of us have...

This post is not exactly about giving, but all about spending.... another gem from Get Rich Slowly: Why we buy--the science of shopping

Here are a just few pearls of wisdom from this post:

Spend less time in stores.  “The amount of time a shopper spends in a store (assuming he or she is shopping, not waiting in line) is perhaps the single most important factor in determining how much he or she will buy.” Do not browse. Shop with a purpose.

Don’t use a basket. Only use a basket (or shopping cart) if it’s absolutely necessary. If you’re dashing into the supermarket to pick up milk and bread, carry things in your hands. Baskets induce people to buy more.

Only seek employee contact if you need help. Employee interaction also induces people to buy more. Underhill notes that “the more shopper-employee contacts that take place, the greater the average sale.”

Don’t examine or handle things you don’t need. The more you interact with something, the more likely you are to buy it. “Virtually all unplanned purchases — and many planned ones, too — come as a result of the shopper seeing, touching, smelling, or tasting something that promises pleasure, if not total fulfillment.”

Don’t try on clothes you don’t need. “Shopper conversion rates increase by half when there is a staff-initiated contact, and it jumps to 100 percent when there is staff-initiated contact and use of the dressing room. In other words, a shopper who talks to a salesperson and tries something on is twice as likely to buy as a shopper who does neither.”

Avoid advertising. Advertising exists for one purpose: to get you to buy things. If you don’t want a closet full of Zizzer-Zoof Seeds and Thneeds, reduce your exposure to advertising.

Make a list and stick to it. The majority of supermarket purchases are unplanned. Underhill writes: “In one supermarket study, we counted how many shoppers came armed with lists. Almost all of the women had them. Less than a quarter of the men did. Any wife who’s watching the family budget knows better than to send him to the supermarket unchaperoned.”

Ignore the racks of impulse items. These are high-margin products designed to make the retailer profit while parting you from your money. These are not things that you need.

Don’t go shopping. The number one way not to buy anything is not to go shopping. It’s obvious, but true.

The moral of this story is: since voluntary simplicity hasn't become our national habit, involuntary simplicity is the name of the game.  We can use this economic crunch to change our habits, our outlooks and our giving patterns.  We can come to understand that exchange is not a dirty capitalist word...but the way the world works. We can begin singing our gratitude in a thousand ways that don't take money...but only our hearts.  We can also sing our gratitude with our money, of course, and do great benefit.

Let's use our clearing sight to have some vision for our future and for at least a few generations into the future...We can do it!

We would love to hear your stories, ideas, other sites about re-defining giving. Step on up to the comment box below and give us a piece of your mind.