This is part 2 in a series in re-defining giving.
Part 3 will be some creative small-dollar but high value gifting concepts, websites, stories. It will be posted November 26. Part 1 discussed how cross pollination between the for-profit/donor sector and the non-profit/charity sector needs to be more evident.
This is a deceptively simple answer: We're giving to ourselves, once or twice removed. Two-three paychecks away. One disastrous accident or act of violence away. One traumatic birth away. One lost pet away.
And a little deeper...one moment or familial rage away.
None of us are that far from deep spaces of despair, drought-of-soul, bone-weary turns of fate.
There is usually nothing in our lives to prepare us for these quicksands. They come unannounced to the doors of our hearts. And it is usually only from the love and support of our families and communities that we survive the physical, financial and emotional trauma that ensues.
It's in those times that we know that we are communal animals, and that we are not meant to live isolated and falsely-secure lives. We are inter-dependent at best.
Our hearts are naturally opened by seeing other humans or animals maltreated, malnourished, suffering. This may be because we know on a primal level that the survival and safety needs of Maslow's hierarchy are in part communal responsibilities.
Gifting is about exchange. There needs to be a mutuality--not in kind, but in spirit. If there is not such mutuality, the giver is placed in a position of giving-to the receiver. This has caused all kinds of mischief in our culture, including the dependence of the institutionalized poor who expect to be taken care of and non-profits that expect to be given to to support their good work.
International giving can become even trickier, as we're inserting ourselves into systems that we don't understand. This gifting, if not highly evolved can cause more ill-will than help fix any problem (that old law of unintended consequences).
When we give to individuals in need, or charities/non-profits, we're giving to our future or past selves, or to those we love who have been touched by similar suffering. We seek to make the world a safer, better place for those who are struggling more than we are, at least in this moment.
In short, we're giving from our best and strongest selves to the weaker and more vulnerable parts of ourselves.
Making sure that our gifting is based in exchange is the contra-intuitive answer to the question of who we are really giving to. Part 3 of this series will focus on how to make this mutality/exchange be the currency of giving.
Most of us don't really like the term 'charity'. It feels like there's rank and privilege in the woodpile, an inequity of sorts. And we don't like receiving 'charity' for the same reasons. What could be a word we would use to describe this conscious giving, this paying it forward or backward, this exchange with other parts of ourselves, our ancestors and our communities?
It might be as simple as the term 'love'.
Rescued pitbull. Her teeth had been pulled out, among other atrocities.