When a conclusion comes to you…

Posted by on 01.31.11 | 1 Comment
Filed Under compassion, Uncategorized

Sometimes, it’s very strange when and how life altering conclusions come to us and what processes those conclusions un-leash inside of us.

One of my best friends has a business in which she raises and slaughters rabbits for dog food, restaurants and her own dinner. I told her that as a meat-eater for 43 years, I thought it was important for me to finally participate in the slaughter of something. She agreed and we set a date for me to help her “process” her animals.

Before the date arrived, I decided I’d rather stop eating meat that kill something myself. And with that decision, I stopped flirting with becoming a vegetarian and fully crossed the threshold. This was five weeks ago.

Now… a deep well of sorrow for all of the animals that suffered extreme atrocities so that I could have hamburgers, pork tenderloin and chicken enchiladas is surfacing.

On a lonely three hour drive home yesterday afternoon, I wondered how many innocent baby chickens had their beaks burned off for me? I wondered how many piglets had been born on cement floors for me and how many cows had stood in feces up to their knees for me? The thoughts of all the suffering of innocent animals that I had caused mortified me.

This morning I woke-up praying for forgiveness for my ignorance and lack of compassion. I told all the species how sorry I am and then I prayed that I may bring more life-affirming practices into my life and into the World.

Now, I’m left with a strangeness in my cells and in my consciousness as the new me begins to peer out from behind once tired eyes. I’m left with a heart full of tears that are too heavy to cry and karma that calls to be atoned for. I’m left with a body made acidic by my meat-feasting habits which needs a chance to return to homeostasis.

I’m also left with gratitude that this conclusion arrived right here and right now and that it found me in a place where I’m finally able to fully receive it. I’m grateful to have developed the skills needed to be a vegetarian and I’m grateful that there are so many others already on this path to move with me and help show me a way.

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