minding my mind (not), part 3

Posted by on 08.23.10 | 5 Comments
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I have not been minding my mind very well since I started writing this little series 10 days or so ago.

I got mad at the guy at the mortgage company who isn’t really a person, but talks like one. And when I told him that the money he’s playing with (‘Making Home Affordable’) isn’t working and that 3/4 of the people I know who are trying to stay in their homes and manage are being turned away because of regulators like him—while he continues to be paid by those same monies—he shut up.  But my mind didn’t.  I thought for hours later about what I’d really like to have said…

I got mad at reading Chris Clarke’s piece on the Ivanpah desert project—turning the Mojave into a light factory.  I don’t even know what to do with this anger.

PArk hemmed into about a square meter, wildlife crowded into a tiny enclosure with industrial development all around

I got sad at the story of a close friend who is telling me of some difficult, avoidable problems in her workplace.  It makes me want to shake someone, and I’m not a violent person.  How can  a place dedicated to doing good things be so harsh on its employees?

I am sad at watching my aging Geronimo have a hard time stepping onto what he used to leap onto. 

I got scared when I realize that my small pot of savings is quickly going away.  Now what will happen?  There are no jobs out there.

Breathe.  Focus on the breath.  Release my ideas of what is right or wrong—what the hell do I know?  Sink into quietness.  Mind my mind.  Be kind with my mind.  Be gracious with other people’s minds. 

Step off the carousel. Just for a minute and see the brightness of the new day.  The new finches at the feeder.  The crispness of the now early fall air.  The light in my dog’s eyes, even if not in his steps.  I have food in the fridge and the mortgage is paid for this month.

‘Given that we know that death is certain, but the time of death is not certain, what is important right now?’  –Pema Chodron

To relish this morning light.  That’s all.

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