the shape of my no

Posted by on 03.31.10 | 2 Comments
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Recognizing my own poverty.

A friend told me tonight that a very sick very sick friend of hers that she’s been helping care for asked her to kill her tonight.
I do not know her answer.
It is an unimaginable question.

I can’t help but reflect the mirror back on myself, wondering why so constantly I seem to be removed from “real life”
If I define real life by its largest rituals: birth, marriage, death, sickness, birth…and its deepest connections

It tickles the edges of me
To think that maybe this is my truest poverty.

And am I choosing it?

Would it help to attend as close as possible to it?
Or would it only be a case of the hungry waiting on the overfed.

Am I able to form real attachments? The ones where I am put out. And uncomfortable. And that lead to “real life”? I don’t know. I simply do not. I will walk the edge and look and see. I will yes. I will try to see the shape of my no.

I will brave my way towards recognizing my own poverty

.

timeline

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