Hold it gently

Posted by on 01.07.09 | 1 Comment
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Beth’s blog of My Best Day So Far…and Jena’s question of what do you hold tightly brought these thoughts to full fruition.

We watched the movie “The Golden Compass” a few nights ago. It’s a complicated movie but the part that has touched me most is as follows… a child is given a “magical” instrument, (called an ‘ethiometer’, I believe). It is ancient and those who knew its powers and how to make use of them are long dead. But, legend says that if you hold a question gently in your mind and work the hands of the ethiometer appropriately you will see, via a vision, the answer to your question. The child is able to work the instrument and basically “save the world”.

It is the “holding your question gently in your mind” that has stayed with me because it reminds me of dreams where I fly. In them, I am experiencing life under ordinary circumstances and suddenly find myself lifting towards the ceiling of the house. At first when I would fly I would get so excited, “Hey! I’m flying, look at me” and in the instant that thought crossed my mind, I would sink back to the ground and no matter how hard I tried, I could not fly again. Now that I have had the dream several times, I have learned to hold the fact that I am flying “gently in my mind” and if I hold it with humility and in silence, then I can continue to fly, direct my path, pass through walls and enjoy ecstatic moments for ever expanding periods of time.

I believe the lesson of flying in my dreams relates to my current spiritual quest to be present, holding the deep loving wisdom within me. I must be present ‘lightly” and “gently” because if ego or arrogance creeps in, I am lost, just like sinking back to earth from my flying adventure. When I have a day or a few hours or even an interaction of a few minutes from that deep loving place, it is so easy for me to pat myself on the back and to have a sense of “Ew, baby, I’ve got it!” But that is a story I tell myself, it is the ego calling with a bull horn! So again, I face attachment to my spiritual process of being present and I judge myself in a positive way and I’m still sinking back to earth from my glorious flight.

Our teachers often say, “it’s easy, you don’t have to DO anything, just stop what you are doing and be present” but the mind and the ego, having run amok for half a century in this incarnation are not going to slink off into that good night so easily. And so, it’s not so easy yet, but I find the more I am mindful, then the more frequently I can be present and the more times I find myself holding the true love of God in my heart, ‘gently’…

(I hope I am not misunderstood, I am in no way stating [or implying] that journaling about the process, as in My Best Day is ego or arrogance. It is only through this kind of reflection that we can stand back and learn and further ourselves along the path.)

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