Having fun with words: Can you catch hipatitus from being a coffee?

Posted by on 07.28.08 | 6 Comments
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The Washington Post in its Style Invitational Column regularly publishes winning submissions to its neologism contests, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

You all have probably seen these before…but thought I’d send them anyway. My favorites in this particular line up are in red below.

1. Coffee (n), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by

13. Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto
the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s
like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the fruit you’re eating.

first kiss

Can you come up with a neologism for this picture? I tried, but couldn’t, but it makes me laugh everytime I see it, so I mashed it in here.

Which of the above are your favorites? Or…do you want to post an original one?

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