Guest post by Michele Duncan: I am a creator

Posted by on 07.27.08 | 1 Comment
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dateline: July 14, 2008

Note: We love using the forum of this site to encourage people to write. Michele Duncan from Bend, Oregon, has finally agreed to write down some thoughts about being a creator. Thanks, Michele for saying ‘yes’! — Beth

This weekend I co-created a flagstone work of art around our hamlet’s fire pit at Beth’s house in Bend with “Five Chics and Bricks.” (Editorial note for the record, because of Michele’s youth, it was actually 4 Crones and a Stone and 1 Chic with a Brick) It felt good to work physically hard picking and shoveling at the grass (and working around Grandmother Birch’s roots), replanting the removed sod tufts where Geronimo the *Therapy* Dog could find them later elsewhere in the yard, lifting the heavy bags of rock and sand, arranging the flagstone and breaking up stone pieces with the pick so they would fit j-u-s-t right, and then standing back and again rearranging the stones until we all felt they were, well…there, DONE.


While sipping on my lemonade and spitting cherry pits into a bowl on the ground, I was truly growing fulfilled at the accomplishment and beauty of the process and design. Pouring the final layer of sand over the flagstone was very rewarding for me personally, and I am looking forward to the evening ‘soon come, mon’ when we will all place our chairs on the rocks for the first time together with Grandfather Fire and know that it was created for all by loving hands.

Recently, I have been thinking about other things I have created in my life, and have yet to create, which has been stirred partially because I am in the middle of a big professional project that excites me when I wake up in the morning and allows me to sleep deep and dream. When I create something, it makes me feel as if I’m right on the verge of an event that’s going to change my life as I know it. It’s funny how I want things to remain the same but get better.

I love pondering an endeavor, gathering and researching information, observing other similar situations or events, muffing up big and walking away, pondering some more, then starting over, and the gratification that comes when I say, oh, this “feels” ssssoooo completed. Um, what’s out there now?

I know I’m too organized because I’ve also become very efficient at creating in my mind and not necessarily doing. I especially create stories about a childhood or young adult life I don’t really remember clearly so that I can tell a tidbit about myself to a kind person who asks my history. Sometimes now I even pre-create before situations in order to give me a level of protection so that I am prepared for what might happen. And then I post-create afterwards when I try to remember a situation if it didn’t go exactly the way I storied it so I can tweak it so it seems favorable after all and the way the Universe must have intended the story to be.

I also create personas, those different actresses inside me that act the way I think I should act for various situations: the mother, the sweetheart, the judge and critic, the worker, the mystic, the child, the Flower Child, the daredevil. If I didn’t create who I think I should be at any given time, what would happen when my children need an advisor but I feel like being a kid?

I am a creator. Sometimes I feel that if I am not creating, I may cease to exist. Hmm, me thinks therein lies the real “work.”



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