A few years ago I heard a NPR story about an 800 number for people to call and anonymously apologize for things they’ve done but cannot, for any reason, do restitution for or make amends. These messages are archived. It left a powerful image on my psyche as I reflected on the gestalt of the confessional–anonymous pieces of the long, convoluted path of self-forgiveness.
Somebody wise once said that to help foster clarity and transparency in our kids we need to teach them the difference between secrets and surprises. A surprise is something you can’t wait to tell, and a secret is something you’re afraid to tell. In the field of child advocacy where I work, that is sound guidance to help us teach our children to not foster secrets that could be harmful to them or to the fabric of the family.
And then, this morning…on my new friend Karen Crone’s lovely site, ‘my Everyday Memoir’, I found a link to a site that blends secrets and surprises, for adults, mind you! The site is called Post Secret and it posts images of postcards anonymously sent with a secret on one side. The images are powerful. Thought you might enjoy or at least resonate with this site. Here’s a link to more info about how to enter a postcard and other interesting FAQ about the Post Secret community.
Like the best dark chocolate, this site is a delicious bitter/sweet mixture of secrets and surprises.
Here’s one image from this morning’s post:
Thanks, Karen for the link–
Hope you all find some time to explore this soulful site.
Beth, VTH Host
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There is a medical term for a type of wound healing where you cut in and expose the wound and the festering, and you leave it open to heal from the inside-out. It’s called healing by secondary intention. I always think of this when I visit Postsecret. The healing by secondary intention.
Confession: That Beth Patterson visits my site and called me her friend made me full of happiness today.
Love to you.
I love this term: secondary intention–wow. Feels like a blog post coming on–maybe a synchroblog with you, me, whoever else would like to write about it?
I do call you friend, friend. And that’s a primary intention!
Love back atcha,
Beth
Interesting post. I’ve been to Post Secret and find it fascinating… The cutting is something I’ve heard about but have never had personal contact with those who do… Thanks for the links and for posting these thoughts.
Cutting isn’t always about "secondary healing"… sometimes it’s about being responsible for your own pain, rather than allowing someone else to cause it.
As in, yes I hurt and bleed, but it’s of my own choice, not because you inflict it on me.
Just my two cents.
american indians also have rituals of cutting oneself… surprise and secret the difference is something we could learn at any age… postsecret site is excellent… i look forward to it every week… familar w/young girls cutting themselves… it’s always been there.. remember when i was a young girl…
Hello to "just me" and "one more believer". I’m not sure what to say about your experiences, but I’m welcoming you to be here, and to share them.
"Just me"–help me understand. Is taking responsibility for one’s pain (isn’t there enough of it already?) different from inflicting more on one’s body and psyche?
Glad you like PostSecret–it’s one of my new favorites!
Again, glad you came by–come again soon for a cup of (virtual) tea and a chat!
Beth, VTH Host